What if this is it??

I had a slight panic attack last night while talking with my husband. He casually mentioned being pregnant, and I flipped out! How can we afford this, what am I going to do if he's not here for the birth, how hard is it going to be to take care of a baby with him gone, are we going to be good parents, what about our families, who would have a shower for me down here, who is going to tell me what I need to buy... Total basketcase!

He tried to calm me down, in his usual guy manner "It will be okay." And I screamed at him, "HOW?!?!" Oh man, I'm a complete wreck already and I don't even know if I am pregnant or not. After talking it through, we came to a few conclusions.

1. I will definitely be having the baby here, whether he is deployed or not. I need to be able to be "at home" getting the nursery and everything together. Plus, there is the whole doctor issue. I don't want to have to switch doctors back and forth. It is more than likely that my mom would come down for the delivery, and probably my aunt. I am not sure about a birthing coach. I guess we'll get to that when it is time. I don't know about his mom... and frankly, I'm not concerned.

2. Plenty of people have babies with deploying parents. We will just have to work it out. With technology, we can still be connected.

3. I assume that my family and friends will want me to head north for a shower. I guess it's going to have to work. Otherwise, it's all about www.babiesrus.com.

So now I feel slightly better. I think it just kind of hit me like, oh my God, what are we thinking?

On a side note, I tested another negative, but AF has still not shown up. I'm going with the whole O 5 days later than normal, which would make sense for me to start AF 5 days later. If I haven't started by Monday, I'll think about testing again. I can't take the negatives.